Fighting Fear

Yesterday I took the puppy for a 4.5 mile run/walk. With about a mile and a half to go I ran into road work and had to follow the detour sign. In front of me were a middle aged man and his West Highland White Terrier. As I went to run past, Pierce puppy stopped to play with the Westie.

I said hello and made small talk while the dogs played. The man was from England, but has lived here seven years. We talked about dogs, the Public Option, Europe's impending decline, and how Americans are "too trusting." As we were parting ways he yelled across the field, "You know, you better be careful, a man walking his dog could be a serial killer."

I paused for a moment letting that sink in. "Who says that?" was my internal dialogue.

He turned around and yelled over his shoulder, "I'm not, but you never know."

Pierce and I resumed running and I found myself running a little faster.

You must know, I was along a main road with lots of cars going by in a highly populated area. As safe as safe is going to get when you are running/walking a dog by yourself.

It bothered me that I temporarily ran a little faster, that I allowed the him to get to me, allowed fear to seep in.

I'm a trusting person. I believe that there is good in everyone. My instinct is to be courteous and friendly. I live life with an open heart.

For a moment, that fear-mongering man made me question all of that. I thought, "Maybe I am too naive... maybe I should be more guarded..."

Then my brain and heart connected and compromised. I won't be running on that side of the river for a few days, but I am also not going to let the Brit get the better of me, harden my heart... I will still be courteous and friendly and let Pierce stop to socialize with other pups and, if I am uncomfortable at any point, I'll resume our run with nothing but maybe a little wave good-bye.

I was afraid of a lot of things between the age of 10 and 19.

I know that living in fear is no life at all.

I'm taking the pup for a run right now along the banks of the river, over the bridge, past the willows, along the facades of the former mills, past Mr. and Mrs. Mallard (lucky duckies in Love)... Just like we do every day.

Are you fighting any fears today? How do you let go of them?

Unrequited Love

Pierce looks at Iris.


Iris looks at Pierce.

How to Lose 25 Pounds... or more

I have been everything from a size 14 to a size zero. Now, I am about an 8/10. Every time I go to the Dr. her first comment is "lose weight" which I know is true, but annoys me nonetheless.

I eat healthy, whole grain, organic, vegan.

I am active.

I feel good.

Doesn't all of that count for something?

Anyway, I have a new diet and exercise plan:


We run around the park, literally, multiple times at least three times a day.

When we aren't at the park, we are playing inside.

During nap time, I do dishes, take a shower, fold laundry, make the bed, etc. Which means little time for snacks and just about enough time to fit in three square meals a day.

Sometimes I nap, too, when he naps, because getting up at 2:00a.m and 5:00a.m. for puppy potty breaks can catch up with a gal. Did you know sleeping burns more calories than sitting around reading a book or watching t.v.?

Oh, and Mr.B&B is helping, too. Tonight we went out for some together time without the pup. Our adventure included walking, frisbee, and swings.

That's that plan. I'll let you know how it works out. Do you have any predictions?

Some Enchanted Evening

Thanks to the new puppy, the Mr. and I have been spending our evenings outside. We sit in our rocking chairs on the porch with the pup on his blanket between us.

There is talking and reading and Nintendo DS playing.

Last night, after frolicking in the clovers, I spied a stunning sky. Had i only my eyes to rely on, I could have believed I was in a foreign land. It reminded me of the sunsets in "Out of Africa" with Meryl Streep and Robert Redford.
"Out of Africa"

Watertown, MA - June 1, 2009


The enchantment and the brilliance of the colors aren't capture-able even in a photo. It literally brought me to me knees and struck me dumb for a few moments.

A stark reminder to slow down and look around. There is always enchantment to be found.

Just look to the horizon.

Pierce is Home

We brought the puppy home this afternoon! He is sleeping peacefully in his crate. I don't want this blog to turn into "all doggy all the time" blog. To prevent this, I have created a blog for Pierce (we changed Derby's name). Since he is named after "The Captain and The Truth Paullllllllllllllllllllllll Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeerrce" of the Boston Celtics, his blog is called The Captain and the Truth.

Visit him here for daily posts.