One for the Ages

Mr. B&B and I hung out with a variety of different people on different occasions this weekend. In every group, the topic of age and aging came up. I never really think about my age. I just keep blazing my own trail.

Saturday night we joined Mr. B&B's extended family at a dinner celebrating his sister's 21st birthday. Of course, we all spoke vaguely about our 21st birthday parties and joked about how long ago they were. Then people got around to talking about when Melissa was born and how long they have all been married and "Where did the time go?" I wanted to scream, "Instead of moaning about the past, think about how you want to spend the rest of your time on this planet!" Eternal optimist, glass half full girl, I am.

Sunday afternoon and evening, we went to a party in Mr. B&B's hometown. It was actually thrown by two people I went to middle and high school with. Oddly enough, the best man at our wedding worked with the guy I know from school. Mr. B&B knew a lot more people at the party a lot better than I did. Inevitably, I was hanging out with our best man for most of the party. At the end of the night he and I were filled with randomness and got to talking about ex's. I told him I admire how friendly he is with one of his ex's after all of the messiness at the end of their relationship. He replied, "We were just 19 year old kids. It was ten years ago. We've gotten over it." That hit me head on. If he was 19 ten years ago, I was 18 ten years ago. I suddenly felt what the people at Melissa's birthday party must have felt. Yeah, those people I wanted to yell at. So, I yelled at myself.

When I turned 25, my younger and only brother called and said, "You're almost 30." What is this anxiety we attach to numbers? Why do we give them so much power over our lives? Maybe I feel a bit more freedom from them because I have done things unconventionally, on my own time table. Just try and make the most of every day, I say. Some days we have more to give than others, but give it all you got, whatever it is you've got to give.

Sunday evening, I talked to a long time friend of the family, in part to wish him and his wife Sherrie(my matron of honor), a happy 23rd wedding anniversary. I was the flower girl in their wedding and I wore a magnificent black and white dress with a gigantic twirly hoop skirt which I l-o-v-e loved. Joe said, "I've known you all your life, kid. I'm gettin' old." I have no words to say how grateful I am to still have people in my life who have known me since conception and are not blood relations. It's outstanding.

Monday, Keith and Alison brought Alexander to our house and we all munched on food and played on the playground. Keith and Alison are expecting another baby (or babies) in January. I remember when they found out they were pregnant with Alexander. I hope that Brad and I get to be Alexander and his siblings "Joe and Sherrie".

We're born. We grow. The cycle continues. Age after Age after Age.

To life.

In Tune

These birds were singing outside my back door this afternoon. I think it is so easy to forget that we are animals, too. We are a part of nature. Sure, I recycle and use eco-friendly ice melt and compost and use eco-friendly soaps and cleaning products. That isn't the same as being in tune with the natural world around you and taking time to really observe it closely. Especially living so close to Boston, it is easy for me to pass by the natural miracles occurring every day.

Part of my grade in my Changing Views of Nature in American Literature class is to be out observing nature for 20 minutes a day, twice a week. I went out into my tiny paved backyard edged with plants and trees and bordered by the park on one side at 4:00 this afternoon. I took photos first and then set my camera aside and sat in my beach chair watching and feeling the sun on my face and listening to the birds chirping and the snow melting.

I went up to the trees and felt their bark and their leaves and their needles. I looked inside the dried brown flowers on the Rose of Sharon and found fuzzy seeds or space where they used to be. I noted where the sun was in the sky and where and why the southeast corner of the yard is still slick with ice.

I thought about Spring which is so much nearer than it seems. Soon the snow will melt and seep into the earth feeding the trees at their roots. The sun will rise higher in the sky and everything will turn green.