I can not believe I have not found one single moment to sit down and blog in a whole week!
Sunday - Errands and Housework and Husband makes me birthday dinner one day early
Monday - I turn 28
Tuesday - A Blur
Wednesday - Two appointments
Thursday and Friday - Puppy's first rain days spent mostly inside playing puppy games
Saturday - Groceries, Dad's Day shopping, nearby park with puppy, help husband organize & catalogue comic book collection
And here we are, All! Happy Weekend and Happy Father's Day!
Showing posts with label husband. Show all posts
Showing posts with label husband. Show all posts
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Life's Little Moments
Today I:
Wrote my husband an "I Love You More Than..." love note.
Saw a homeless man and wanted to help him, but he walked on by. Next time I'll have a set of clothes and a paper bag lunch at the ready.
Watched my car almost get hit by an elderly woman driving the largest car I have ever seen in my life. What a wave of relief when the impact did not come.
Sat with a purring cat in my lap for 20 minutes.
Got 20 minutes to myself which I spent reading The Birthdays by Heidi Pitlor. (Remember "Drop Everything And Read" in elementary school?)
Most amazing, I found my first ever four leaf clover which I'll write a whole post about tomorrow.
Sweet Dreams my Blogging Beauties <3
Wrote my husband an "I Love You More Than..." love note.
Saw a homeless man and wanted to help him, but he walked on by. Next time I'll have a set of clothes and a paper bag lunch at the ready.
Watched my car almost get hit by an elderly woman driving the largest car I have ever seen in my life. What a wave of relief when the impact did not come.
Sat with a purring cat in my lap for 20 minutes.
Got 20 minutes to myself which I spent reading The Birthdays by Heidi Pitlor. (Remember "Drop Everything And Read" in elementary school?)
Most amazing, I found my first ever four leaf clover which I'll write a whole post about tomorrow.
Sweet Dreams my Blogging Beauties <3
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Wedding Anniversary
Yesterday was our 2nd wedding anniversary.
We had breakfast together and talked about what we were doing two years ago.
When Mr. B&B got home, we ate dinner together and talked about our marriage.
Then we made brownies.
While the brownies baked, we watched our wedding video.
We ate brownies.
We called people who were in our wedding.
Then bed where we talked ourselves to sleep.
Simple, but special.
Monday, April 20, 2009
On this day...
two years ago, I was at my parent's house watching my mom whirl around in a cleaning frenzy, answering phone calls from friends and family and florist, firming up final details. Around 4:30, I slid on my green slip dress, tugged my blue shrug over my shoulders, and headed to the church for the rehearsal on the eve of our wedding.
I still can't believe it has been two years.
This morning as Mr. B&B and I stepped out on the porch he sighed and said, "Two years ago today I was playing golf with my dad..." Then he slipped his arm around my waist and we kind of stood there for a minute, quiet, taking in the warming spring day, being in the moment.
Then off to work he went. We do, after all, have bills to pay and not everyone accepts love as payment. <3
***
After two years, I wonder:
Am I living up to his expectations as a person? as a wife?
How have I changed in the past two years? For the good? For the worse?
I think often spouses forget to ask each other these deep down questions, voice these deep down worries. I think maybe our marriages would be better if we did.
One of the things about marriage people forget to tell you?
A good marriage is hard work.
***
Recently I spoke with two dear friends living on opposite sides of the marriage spectrum. "Friend A" is facing struggles. "Friend B" is working to proactively prevent struggles. I love them both dearly. They are both amazing women. They both have husbands who have never been anything but nice to me. Both had beautiful, joyous weddings. Friend A has been married two and a half years. Friend B, near double that. Both friends are the same age.
I talked to A a couple of weeks ago. I asked her how she and her husband were doing. "We're a mess!", she exclaimed. In her words they are "living separate lives under the same roof" in spite of her ongoing efforts to improve the situation which she recognizes she can not do without his cooperation. Eventually, I point blanked asked her, "Do you think you are getting to a point where you will give up on the marriage?" She surprised me with her answer, "I did not get married to see what it was like or try it out for a little while. I got married because I want to spend my life with him and there are ups and downs and I am not giving up on him or on us." She said it with such conviction and I was stunned and proud of her.
Since it seems their biggest struggle is with communication and spending time with each other, I suggested something Friend B had just told me about.
B and her husband recently went to a marriage retreat. I asked if they were having challenges. B said they are doing just fine, but it never hurts to do things that are geared toward strengthening your marriage. They saw the retreat as an opportunity to really connect with each other while learning from some long married marriage masters. After the retreat, B told me about this wonderful, fairly simple, free-if-you-want-it-to-be exercise for improving their marriage.
Materials needed:
eight different colors of construction paper
2 pairs of scissors
receptacle for construction paper strips (ex. butter tub, sock, hat, candy dish...)
imagination
The exercise:
1. Each person picks four pieces of paper. 1 color for spring, 1 for summer, 1 for fall, 1 for winter.
2. Separate from each other, write down activities that you would like to do with your spouse for fun during each season and write on appropriately colored paper. Anything from "a walk around the block holding hands" to "wander around the art museum".
3. Keep the things you have written down secret from your spouse.
4. roll up strips of paper word side in and put in receptacle
5. once a week, pull a strip out of the receptacle and do whatever the strip of paper says is the activity for you to do together that day. If it is her turn this week, it is his turn next week and you keep alternating.
Result: You will spend some amount of time together each week and will probably talk with each other more which makes for a better partnership.
Wow, that was harder to describe than I thought and I am still not sure if I am describing it correctly.
This weekend, Mr. B&B and I decided to pick two different colors of paper.
Me: Pink
Him: Orange
I wrote down ten things I would like to do with him.
He wrote down ten things he would like to do with me.
If we make it 20 weeks, we will fill out more strips and keep going.
I am so excited for the surprise fun that is in store for us!!!!!
*****
It seems the key is communication.
As we, The B&B's, head into our second year of marriage, do you have any advice for us?
P.S. The fun post comes tomorrow with wedding pics galore :-)
I still can't believe it has been two years.
This morning as Mr. B&B and I stepped out on the porch he sighed and said, "Two years ago today I was playing golf with my dad..." Then he slipped his arm around my waist and we kind of stood there for a minute, quiet, taking in the warming spring day, being in the moment.
Then off to work he went. We do, after all, have bills to pay and not everyone accepts love as payment. <3
***
After two years, I wonder:
Am I living up to his expectations as a person? as a wife?
How have I changed in the past two years? For the good? For the worse?
I think often spouses forget to ask each other these deep down questions, voice these deep down worries. I think maybe our marriages would be better if we did.
One of the things about marriage people forget to tell you?
A good marriage is hard work.
***
Recently I spoke with two dear friends living on opposite sides of the marriage spectrum. "Friend A" is facing struggles. "Friend B" is working to proactively prevent struggles. I love them both dearly. They are both amazing women. They both have husbands who have never been anything but nice to me. Both had beautiful, joyous weddings. Friend A has been married two and a half years. Friend B, near double that. Both friends are the same age.
I talked to A a couple of weeks ago. I asked her how she and her husband were doing. "We're a mess!", she exclaimed. In her words they are "living separate lives under the same roof" in spite of her ongoing efforts to improve the situation which she recognizes she can not do without his cooperation. Eventually, I point blanked asked her, "Do you think you are getting to a point where you will give up on the marriage?" She surprised me with her answer, "I did not get married to see what it was like or try it out for a little while. I got married because I want to spend my life with him and there are ups and downs and I am not giving up on him or on us." She said it with such conviction and I was stunned and proud of her.
Since it seems their biggest struggle is with communication and spending time with each other, I suggested something Friend B had just told me about.
B and her husband recently went to a marriage retreat. I asked if they were having challenges. B said they are doing just fine, but it never hurts to do things that are geared toward strengthening your marriage. They saw the retreat as an opportunity to really connect with each other while learning from some long married marriage masters. After the retreat, B told me about this wonderful, fairly simple, free-if-you-want-it-to-be exercise for improving their marriage.
Materials needed:
eight different colors of construction paper
2 pairs of scissors
receptacle for construction paper strips (ex. butter tub, sock, hat, candy dish...)
imagination
The exercise:
1. Each person picks four pieces of paper. 1 color for spring, 1 for summer, 1 for fall, 1 for winter.
2. Separate from each other, write down activities that you would like to do with your spouse for fun during each season and write on appropriately colored paper. Anything from "a walk around the block holding hands" to "wander around the art museum".
3. Keep the things you have written down secret from your spouse.
4. roll up strips of paper word side in and put in receptacle
5. once a week, pull a strip out of the receptacle and do whatever the strip of paper says is the activity for you to do together that day. If it is her turn this week, it is his turn next week and you keep alternating.
Result: You will spend some amount of time together each week and will probably talk with each other more which makes for a better partnership.
Wow, that was harder to describe than I thought and I am still not sure if I am describing it correctly.
This weekend, Mr. B&B and I decided to pick two different colors of paper.
Me: Pink
Him: Orange
I wrote down ten things I would like to do with him.
He wrote down ten things he would like to do with me.
If we make it 20 weeks, we will fill out more strips and keep going.
I am so excited for the surprise fun that is in store for us!!!!!
*****
It seems the key is communication.
As we, The B&B's, head into our second year of marriage, do you have any advice for us?
P.S. The fun post comes tomorrow with wedding pics galore :-)
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Friday Night with the B&B's
Soccer and swings in the park next door.
Dinner of baked pasta mixed with sauce, peas, broccoli, carrots and vegan mozzarella.
Cotton Candy Clouds.
Driving with the sunroof open singing "Love is a Battle Field" a capella.
Trip to Lizzy's for ice cream.
Mine:
Mr.B&B's:
Empty:
Meandering around More Than Words.
Driving with the sunroof open while laughing lots.
Stars in the clear sky.
They are there even though you can't see them in the picture. Trust me.
PJ's and a movie on the couch at home with the kitty.
Just right!
Dinner of baked pasta mixed with sauce, peas, broccoli, carrots and vegan mozzarella.
Cotton Candy Clouds.
Driving with the sunroof open singing "Love is a Battle Field" a capella.
Trip to Lizzy's for ice cream.
Mine:
Mr.B&B's:
Empty:
Meandering around More Than Words.
Driving with the sunroof open while laughing lots.
Stars in the clear sky.
They are there even though you can't see them in the picture. Trust me.
PJ's and a movie on the couch at home with the kitty.
Just right!
Monday, April 13, 2009
Belated
The above is our joint Easter goodie bag from Mr. B&B's parents. Yes, I broke into the Peeps and all their sugary gooey outrageousness already.
We had a very relaxed, grown-up Easter this year. We got to my parent's house early. I prepared vegan pancakes which hubby and dad ate and tofu scramble which people just looked at curiously. The dog tried the tofu, but spit it out after licking the yummy peanut sauce off of it. Then my dad made omelets and bacon for my brother and husband. We hung around and talked current and life events. Mom and I put together Easter baskets. I sliced vegis for dipping and fruit for fruit salad. We all ate some more. Mid-afternoon brought pork tenderloin, potato salad, fruit salad, and macaroni salad for the omnivores and more tofu scramble for me. Very low-key.
Around 5:00 we drove 15 minutes to husband's childhood home to visit with his mom and dad. We spread out on the couch, chatted, and watched the Masters golf tournament.
At home, we wasted no time putting on pj's and heading to bed.
Today Iris the kitty has claimed my chocolate scented bunny for her very own.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Singing in the Rain
Last night Mr. B&B and I walked to the asian fusion restaurant two blocks away from our house for dinner. It was raining. I brought my Oilily umbrella.
As we chitter chattered under the umbrella, we passed an 8 or 10 year old boy sitting on his front stoop. He started singing, "under my umbrella, ella, ella eh eh eh..."
I joined in. Impromptu and too fun. He made my day.
As we chitter chattered under the umbrella, we passed an 8 or 10 year old boy sitting on his front stoop. He started singing, "under my umbrella, ella, ella eh eh eh..."
I joined in. Impromptu and too fun. He made my day.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Sunday Scribblings #156 - Aging
Age is opportunity no less,
Than youth itself, though in another dress,
And as the evening twilight fades away,
The sky is filled with stars, invisible by day.
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Morituri Salutamus
My father-in-law turned 60 years old yesterday. We surprised him by gathering a small group of family and friends at Kirkbrae Country Club where he and my mother-in-law have dinner every Friday night. It was a lot of fun and I'll post some pictures soon.
Sitting at the table last night with a group of people age 19 to 81 really got my mind churning. There was lots of wisdom whirring around the table. There was lots of advice being sought and dispensed. There were lots of people just being people. Age disappeared. Age didn't seem to matter. Age was being celebrated and all were celebrated no matter their age.
The other day a man asked me what I thought was the best time of life. "Why," I answered without a thought, "now." - David Grayson
I believe in living in the moment. If you can not find happiness, something positive, in the present moment, you will surely age before your time.
I am not saying this is easy or that I achieve this all the time, but it is something to strive for, something to always attempt to put into practice. Eventually it becomes automatic, I am finding.
When grace is joined with wrinkles, it is adorable. There is an unspeakable dawn in happy old age.
- Victor Hugo
My grandmothers are very different, but equally amazing women. Looking into their faces, it is impossible not to grin, too see their victories, their lives in the lines. They're simply adorable in every way. Adorable: to give homage or worship to someone or something.
My maternal grandmother is the one who has most shown me that "unspeakable dawn in happy old age" with her many travels, endless curiosity, and incurable laughter. She has had her share of medical and other issues, but she keeps going and she makes the most of every day. I still have trouble believing she is so near to 80.
My grandmother-in-law has also shown me the dawn. For her 80th birthday, she took her 2 sons and their spouses on a two week trip to Paris and Rome. Soon she'll be 81 and shows no signs of stopping.
The other day Mr. B&B and I were driving. We stopped to let an elderly couple cross the street. They were walking arm in arm, close together. We looked at each other and smiled. "Yes, Love, we will stroll the sidewalks when we are adorable old people, too." said my husband. "Amen." said my heart.
"Miranda: Whatever happened to aging gracefully? Carrie: It got old.”
- Sex and the City
Our culture's obsession with youth boggles my mind. Tens of billions of dollars per year are spent on cosmetic surgery in the United States alone. A Google search for "anti-aging products" yields 7,460,000 results. Women starve themselves to the point of looking pre-pubescent, even skeletal. It is dangerous.
Give me wrinkles and gray hair and experiences I'll never forget. Give me growth, creativity, and fan the flames of the spirit of my five year old self burning bright inside me. Give me a life well lived. Let me savor every moment while it lasts.
Than youth itself, though in another dress,
And as the evening twilight fades away,
The sky is filled with stars, invisible by day.
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Morituri Salutamus
My father-in-law turned 60 years old yesterday. We surprised him by gathering a small group of family and friends at Kirkbrae Country Club where he and my mother-in-law have dinner every Friday night. It was a lot of fun and I'll post some pictures soon.
Sitting at the table last night with a group of people age 19 to 81 really got my mind churning. There was lots of wisdom whirring around the table. There was lots of advice being sought and dispensed. There were lots of people just being people. Age disappeared. Age didn't seem to matter. Age was being celebrated and all were celebrated no matter their age.
The other day a man asked me what I thought was the best time of life. "Why," I answered without a thought, "now." - David Grayson
I believe in living in the moment. If you can not find happiness, something positive, in the present moment, you will surely age before your time.
I am not saying this is easy or that I achieve this all the time, but it is something to strive for, something to always attempt to put into practice. Eventually it becomes automatic, I am finding.
When grace is joined with wrinkles, it is adorable. There is an unspeakable dawn in happy old age.
- Victor Hugo
My grandmothers are very different, but equally amazing women. Looking into their faces, it is impossible not to grin, too see their victories, their lives in the lines. They're simply adorable in every way. Adorable: to give homage or worship to someone or something.
My maternal grandmother is the one who has most shown me that "unspeakable dawn in happy old age" with her many travels, endless curiosity, and incurable laughter. She has had her share of medical and other issues, but she keeps going and she makes the most of every day. I still have trouble believing she is so near to 80.
My grandmother-in-law has also shown me the dawn. For her 80th birthday, she took her 2 sons and their spouses on a two week trip to Paris and Rome. Soon she'll be 81 and shows no signs of stopping.
The other day Mr. B&B and I were driving. We stopped to let an elderly couple cross the street. They were walking arm in arm, close together. We looked at each other and smiled. "Yes, Love, we will stroll the sidewalks when we are adorable old people, too." said my husband. "Amen." said my heart.
"Miranda: Whatever happened to aging gracefully? Carrie: It got old.”
- Sex and the City
Our culture's obsession with youth boggles my mind. Tens of billions of dollars per year are spent on cosmetic surgery in the United States alone. A Google search for "anti-aging products" yields 7,460,000 results. Women starve themselves to the point of looking pre-pubescent, even skeletal. It is dangerous.
Give me wrinkles and gray hair and experiences I'll never forget. Give me growth, creativity, and fan the flames of the spirit of my five year old self burning bright inside me. Give me a life well lived. Let me savor every moment while it lasts.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
It's Spring!
Rain has been abundant! As Mr. B&B said last night, "April showers..." and I replied "Bring May flowers!"
When I was little I used to think rain brought boats... You know... the Mayflower...? I was a little confused, but I have lived in Massachusetts all my life and we often went to Plymouth to see the Mayflower so my thought process wasn't completely daft. And rain and the ocean and...
So, anyway, speaking of May flowers, the beginning of them are making their debut in our front garden.
The birds outside my window have been serenading me all day, too.
It is truly Spring. A new beginning.
When I was little I used to think rain brought boats... You know... the Mayflower...? I was a little confused, but I have lived in Massachusetts all my life and we often went to Plymouth to see the Mayflower so my thought process wasn't completely daft. And rain and the ocean and...
So, anyway, speaking of May flowers, the beginning of them are making their debut in our front garden.
The birds outside my window have been serenading me all day, too.
It is truly Spring. A new beginning.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
View from Here
With the husband home sick and the Liz Funk interview I could work on transcribing and editing from home, I decided not to go in to Teen Voices today. I opted to work at my desk with my sleeping husband in the next room.
The view from my desk. Note the fresh squeezed, homemade lemonade.
Perfect Lemonade Recipe.
The kitty came from here.
The view from my desk. Note the fresh squeezed, homemade lemonade.
Perfect Lemonade Recipe.
The kitty came from here.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Signs Husband Is Home
1. Sports on the T.V.
2. Dirty Dishes on the Counter
3. Luggage left in the middle of the floor
4. Big hugs and soft kisses
5. Words that are music to your soul - "I love you", "I missed you", "Thank you for x,y,z"
6. Dancing around the silent house to the rhythm of your hearts
After Mr. B&B being away for 17 days over the past four weeks, I am so glad to have him home!
2. Dirty Dishes on the Counter
3. Luggage left in the middle of the floor
4. Big hugs and soft kisses
5. Words that are music to your soul - "I love you", "I missed you", "Thank you for x,y,z"
6. Dancing around the silent house to the rhythm of your hearts
After Mr. B&B being away for 17 days over the past four weeks, I am so glad to have him home!
Secret to Surprise
Not long ago I mentioned a secret I was bursting to share. It is more exciting to some than others, but...
Mr. B&B and I are going to San Francisco in May! This is very exciting because many of my blog friends live in San Francisco. I have also wanted to go to California for a very long time and it will soon be a wish fulfilled.
There are other secrets to be revealed in the near future concerning career path, potential publishing of materials, and even perhaps new members of the family.
San Francisco is a good start though!
Mr. B&B and I are going to San Francisco in May! This is very exciting because many of my blog friends live in San Francisco. I have also wanted to go to California for a very long time and it will soon be a wish fulfilled.
There are other secrets to be revealed in the near future concerning career path, potential publishing of materials, and even perhaps new members of the family.
San Francisco is a good start though!
Monday, March 2, 2009
Work From Home
With all the crazy snow, Mr. B&B will be working from home today. Side by side in the office we will toil together which will either be motivating or completely distracting. It will be nice to have him home, but I do have a routine and it bugs me a bit to have it messed with. Selfish, I know and I can't believe I'm feeling it.
Mondays and Fridays are my "Work from Home" days. Fridays are the days when I get the big house chores done like laundry and sweeping and dusting in addition to the normal light housework. When those things are done, it is homework time. Mondays are the normal light housework like bed-making and dishes before sitting down to homework with near zero distractions all day. This particular Monday I have one paper that needs to be completed and two papers that need editing before I can turn them in tomorrow and Wednesday. That makes today an intense homework day. I just hope Mr. B&B is more of a motivator than a distraction.
Wait a minute... I think Mr. BandB feels the same way about me. He just asked me where I will be working today. "Why?" I asked. "Because if you are working in the office, I will find another place to work." Too funny...
Mondays and Fridays are my "Work from Home" days. Fridays are the days when I get the big house chores done like laundry and sweeping and dusting in addition to the normal light housework. When those things are done, it is homework time. Mondays are the normal light housework like bed-making and dishes before sitting down to homework with near zero distractions all day. This particular Monday I have one paper that needs to be completed and two papers that need editing before I can turn them in tomorrow and Wednesday. That makes today an intense homework day. I just hope Mr. B&B is more of a motivator than a distraction.
Wait a minute... I think Mr. BandB feels the same way about me. He just asked me where I will be working today. "Why?" I asked. "Because if you are working in the office, I will find another place to work." Too funny...
Sunday, March 1, 2009
March
In like a lion...
Yes, it is snowing here today. 8-12 inches expected by the time it stops tomorrow night. Really, it has been known to snow in April so none of this should come as a surprise AND I am grateful for "normal" weather because really we should not have sundress weather in late February/early March in Massachusetts, BUT I think I am a little weather weary. The weariness sets in around this time every year. Soft and feathery snow, while lovely, is less welcome when my heart has had a taste of Spring and is more than longing for strings of lustrous, languid, steamy, sunshiney days.
Speaking of sunshine, my sunshine has returned from his week long business trip to New Mexico. Iris the MeowMeow and I could not be happier! I think he is pretty thrilled to be home, too. Last night he came home to a choice of two meals for dinner. Option One: Turkey meatloaf with roasted sweet potato rounds and broccoli. Option Two: Sweet Italian Chicken Sausage cooked in a broth of onions, garlic, tomatoes, and peppers over whole wheat rotini. He went with the sausage. He also came home to a clean house and an exceedingly happy, doting wife. Gotta keep him coming home :-)
Happy March! Let us hope it goes out like a lamb...
Yes, it is snowing here today. 8-12 inches expected by the time it stops tomorrow night. Really, it has been known to snow in April so none of this should come as a surprise AND I am grateful for "normal" weather because really we should not have sundress weather in late February/early March in Massachusetts, BUT I think I am a little weather weary. The weariness sets in around this time every year. Soft and feathery snow, while lovely, is less welcome when my heart has had a taste of Spring and is more than longing for strings of lustrous, languid, steamy, sunshiney days.
Speaking of sunshine, my sunshine has returned from his week long business trip to New Mexico. Iris the MeowMeow and I could not be happier! I think he is pretty thrilled to be home, too. Last night he came home to a choice of two meals for dinner. Option One: Turkey meatloaf with roasted sweet potato rounds and broccoli. Option Two: Sweet Italian Chicken Sausage cooked in a broth of onions, garlic, tomatoes, and peppers over whole wheat rotini. He went with the sausage. He also came home to a clean house and an exceedingly happy, doting wife. Gotta keep him coming home :-)
Happy March! Let us hope it goes out like a lamb...
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Alone
I miss Mr. B&B
Last week he was in Colorado for 3 days.
This week he has been in New Mexico since Sunday and will not return until Saturday.
When he is away, I have nightmares.
Last week I dreamed of a couple coming into our house to steal things while I was sleeping. In my dream, I woke up, asked what they were doing, and told them all they had to do was ask for those things on Freecycle and I would be happy to give them to them.
Last night I dreamed I was in the supermarket and a guy fell to the floor. I thought he was having a heart attack and cried out. A guy at the end of the aisle came presumably to help, but it turned out he had a gun with a silencer and had just shot the guy I thought was having a heart attack. He tried to attack me and as I was struggling with him, I woke up.
I like to think I do o.k. when I am alone. I am a 27 year old grown-up. But my dreams betray me.
How do you feel about being alone for any period of time?
Last week he was in Colorado for 3 days.
This week he has been in New Mexico since Sunday and will not return until Saturday.
When he is away, I have nightmares.
Last week I dreamed of a couple coming into our house to steal things while I was sleeping. In my dream, I woke up, asked what they were doing, and told them all they had to do was ask for those things on Freecycle and I would be happy to give them to them.
Last night I dreamed I was in the supermarket and a guy fell to the floor. I thought he was having a heart attack and cried out. A guy at the end of the aisle came presumably to help, but it turned out he had a gun with a silencer and had just shot the guy I thought was having a heart attack. He tried to attack me and as I was struggling with him, I woke up.
I like to think I do o.k. when I am alone. I am a 27 year old grown-up. But my dreams betray me.
How do you feel about being alone for any period of time?
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Groceries: A Mr. B&B Anecdote
Glued to my computer working on my paper this weekend, I decided groceries would just have to wait until Monday. We would not go hungry.
Much to my surprise, Mr. B&B popped his head in our office late Sunday morning. "Just wanted to let you know, I will take care of the groceries today." he casually remarked. "You will? Are you sure? I was planning on doing them tomorrow..." Then I paused, looked at him, and said, "Thank you.", motioned for him to come closer, and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
Mr. B&B is very helpful around the house ALWAYS. He washes laundry, sweeps floors, cleans bathrooms, hangs pictures, and removes snow and ice. He dusts, builds things, weather seals doors, grouts window frames and tubs. There are not many things Mr. B&B won't do. I am a lucky and very thankful woman. Though I am capable of doing the things Mr. B&B does, it is nice not to have to, not to be the sole proprietor of our "home sweet home".
On the other hand, I do not take advantage. I recognize that he works hard every day not only for self-fulfillment, but to keep our little family afloat. When he comes home and the dishes are done, laundry clean and dry and put away, floors swept, bed made, everything dusted, and dinner on the table, he is far more relaxed and just as appreciative of what I do at home all day as I am of what he does at work all day.
Having been together eight years and lived together for quite a few of them, some household tasks have naturally divided. Groceries have traditionally been done jointly or by me. So, when he made his "casual remark" on Sunday, I was floored. He recognized how hard I was working and this was his way of showing me support. My heart was full. I got up and, holding his hand, floated on air to the kitchen where together we made a grocery list. Moments later, Mr. B&B was en route to Trader Joe's.
Typing away in the middle of a thought I was not about to lose, my phone rang and I ignored it. When my thought was typed and saved, I picked up my phone. Mr. B&B, no doubt in the midst of a grocery store crisis, was the mystery caller. "Ring, Ring, ring, ring..." and I am through to his voice mail. Must not have been that important. Five minutes later, he called me back. Before I could say hello, "I decided to save all of my questions until I got to the last aisle so I didn't bother you over and over." He then proceeded with a barrage of questions which I answered deftly and expertly. One never fully understands how complex a seemingly simple task can be until one attempts it one's self.
Mr. B&B returned unscathed with bags full of yummy. With gusto, the receipt for "only $53!" (well done) was unfurled. While we put away the groceries together, he regaled me with supermarket stories and I listened intently as if he were describing a foreign land and the people who live there. "I'm glad you had a good time. Thank you SO MUCH for taking care of the groceries for me! It means more than you know."
The little things go a long way.
Much to my surprise, Mr. B&B popped his head in our office late Sunday morning. "Just wanted to let you know, I will take care of the groceries today." he casually remarked. "You will? Are you sure? I was planning on doing them tomorrow..." Then I paused, looked at him, and said, "Thank you.", motioned for him to come closer, and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
Mr. B&B is very helpful around the house ALWAYS. He washes laundry, sweeps floors, cleans bathrooms, hangs pictures, and removes snow and ice. He dusts, builds things, weather seals doors, grouts window frames and tubs. There are not many things Mr. B&B won't do. I am a lucky and very thankful woman. Though I am capable of doing the things Mr. B&B does, it is nice not to have to, not to be the sole proprietor of our "home sweet home".
On the other hand, I do not take advantage. I recognize that he works hard every day not only for self-fulfillment, but to keep our little family afloat. When he comes home and the dishes are done, laundry clean and dry and put away, floors swept, bed made, everything dusted, and dinner on the table, he is far more relaxed and just as appreciative of what I do at home all day as I am of what he does at work all day.
Having been together eight years and lived together for quite a few of them, some household tasks have naturally divided. Groceries have traditionally been done jointly or by me. So, when he made his "casual remark" on Sunday, I was floored. He recognized how hard I was working and this was his way of showing me support. My heart was full. I got up and, holding his hand, floated on air to the kitchen where together we made a grocery list. Moments later, Mr. B&B was en route to Trader Joe's.
Typing away in the middle of a thought I was not about to lose, my phone rang and I ignored it. When my thought was typed and saved, I picked up my phone. Mr. B&B, no doubt in the midst of a grocery store crisis, was the mystery caller. "Ring, Ring, ring, ring..." and I am through to his voice mail. Must not have been that important. Five minutes later, he called me back. Before I could say hello, "I decided to save all of my questions until I got to the last aisle so I didn't bother you over and over." He then proceeded with a barrage of questions which I answered deftly and expertly. One never fully understands how complex a seemingly simple task can be until one attempts it one's self.
Mr. B&B returned unscathed with bags full of yummy. With gusto, the receipt for "only $53!" (well done) was unfurled. While we put away the groceries together, he regaled me with supermarket stories and I listened intently as if he were describing a foreign land and the people who live there. "I'm glad you had a good time. Thank you SO MUCH for taking care of the groceries for me! It means more than you know."
The little things go a long way.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Longing for the Shore
Maybe what I am really longing for is summer. It was super sunny today which took the edge off the chill. I am not fooled. I know snow is on the way again this week.
Summer is a little more than five months away, but the shore is less than an hour from me. I count myself lucky. Mr. B&B and I are going to Cape Cod for Valentine's Weekend which I am so looking forward to!
In the name of longing for the shore, a poem I wrote in December:
Adrift
He wears the wind and the waves.
Sacrificing boat shoes to sunken ships is easy.
Released, weightless flesh turns spongy and swims in pools of infinite possibility.
The confines and contradictions of the land slumber in his hull.
That ship has sailed. What remains lay netted in seaweed sweaters.
Summer is a little more than five months away, but the shore is less than an hour from me. I count myself lucky. Mr. B&B and I are going to Cape Cod for Valentine's Weekend which I am so looking forward to!
In the name of longing for the shore, a poem I wrote in December:
Adrift
He wears the wind and the waves.
Sacrificing boat shoes to sunken ships is easy.
Released, weightless flesh turns spongy and swims in pools of infinite possibility.
The confines and contradictions of the land slumber in his hull.
That ship has sailed. What remains lay netted in seaweed sweaters.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Just Jules and Me
Through the interviewing phenomenon that is sweeping Blogville, I have been introduced to some amazing blogs. Just Jules is one of them. Her interview with Tangobaby can be found here. Jules was also interviewed by julochka here. Struck by how candid, funny, and sincere she is, I asked her to interview me. Within a few hours, I received this email:
How amazing is this lovely, mid-western woman? Those of you visiting from her blog, welcome and thank you <3
JJ: I see that you are just married. Congrats. What 3 things have surprised you about married life? (please post with this how long you have been married now)
B&B: Mr. B&B and I were married on April 21, 2007. We are exactly three months shy of our two year anniversary.
Three married life surprises:
1. There is still so much to learn about each other.
2. Even though we lived together before we were married, it felt different, good different, after we were married. There was a deeper commitment.
3. It is easy to fall into a rut, get mired down in the every day. It takes a little work and diligence to keep it interesting and continue growing, evolving together.
JJ: One of your posts mentioned working for Teen Voices Magazine. The website states "You are more than just a pretty face" Since I have a girl who is just inching over to the pre-teen side of her life, I love this idea. What else can you tell us about the platform of this magazine and how is the magazine surviving in this "body worship" world?
B&B: Teen Voices is written by and for teen girls. Really, it is girls talking to girls about issues that are relevant to them in a way they can all understand. All articles contain content written by the teen girls working for the magazine and submissions from teen girls around the globe. The most recent issue is the "Girl Stuff" issue and contains, among other things, articles on Manga, teen girls in extreme sports, and surviving sexual assault. Teen Voices tries to get teen girls to think and form their own opinions. Use the minds inside their bodies.
All of the art work is by teen girls and our "cover girls" are the un-airbrushed, beautiful inside and out, teen girls who work at the magazine wearing their own clothes, make up and accessories of their choice.
Advertising in the magazine is minimal and almost always relates to education and being informed. In the most recent 57 page issue there were 6 advertisements.
Teen Voices is surviving in this "'body worship' world" thanks to donors and volunteers and people who subscribe to the magazine. We circulate the magazine, free of charge, to schools in Boston and the surrounding communities. In order to reach teen girls around the world, we are focusing on expanding and revamping the Teen Voices website. Judging by all of the submissions we receive from all over the world, Teen Voices strikes a chord, fills a void. There is no magazine like Teen Voices.
The other part of all of this is that Teen Voices is a mentoring program for teen girls in Boston and the surrounding communities which I talked about in my interview with Tangobaby.
If you, or anyone else reading, would like a copy of the magazine, email me and I will send you a free copy!
JJ: In your profile you list your occupation as student. Are you still? What are you pursuing?
B&B: I am still a student working toward my BA. I am designing my own major in Publishing. This means lots of literature courses, writing courses, and internships relevant to publishing. I have edited a book for a small publisher in addition to my work at Teen Voices Magazine. Having been to two other colleges right out of high school before making the decision to go to work for five years, when I returned to school it was on my own terms. I have about six classes plus a thesis to complete and I am really trying to stick with it and power through. Gosh, it can be difficult sometimes. Sometimes all I wanna do is be a homemaker, become a parent, continue volunteering, and open an Etsy shop. Then I remind my self how many opportunities open up once that piece of paper is in hand and I keep going.
JJ: In your photo "Shedding Light On Many Subjects" the books appear to be mostly of a political nature. Are these your books or Mr B&B's (your hubby)? How do they reflect the owner?
B&B: The books are Mr. B&B's, but I have read 1984 and Utopia. I will read anything, but prefer fiction. When it comes to non-fiction, I tend to read books about places/travel and memoir.
One of my bookcases
A Shelf Up Close
As far as reflecting their owner, Mr. B&B loves history and politics. He keeps up with current events. He reads for the pleasure of learning. In Mr. B&B's own words: "I flip between light and fluffy books, often about sports, and the heavier reading material you see on the shelf. I love David Halberstam and the list of books he has written follow that switch." Case in point: Right now Mr. B&B is reading Slash's memoir.
JJ: I am new to blogging. Through blogging I have seen "twittering". Give me a super short explanation of this, AND how has twittering effected your life for the good-why should one twitter?
B&B:
super short explanation: Say anything you want in 140 characters or less.
good effects/why: Exposure to new people, new ideas, and more traffic to my blog.
More about Twitter: A Comprehensive Guide to Twitter
My Twitter: morningtonight
Thank you for making time to ask me such thoughtful questions, Jules!
If you would like to get in on the fun, these are "The Rules":
1. Leave me a comment saying: "Interview me."
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. (I get to pick the questions.)
3. You will update your blog with the answers and link to my blog in your post.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed you will ask them five questions.
"Here are your 5 interview questions. Forgive me if they aren't up to snuff for Baba Wawa (Barbara) but I had 6 kids around today - not much time for thoughtfulness...."
How amazing is this lovely, mid-western woman? Those of you visiting from her blog, welcome and thank you <3
JJ: I see that you are just married. Congrats. What 3 things have surprised you about married life? (please post with this how long you have been married now)
B&B: Mr. B&B and I were married on April 21, 2007. We are exactly three months shy of our two year anniversary.
Three married life surprises:
1. There is still so much to learn about each other.
2. Even though we lived together before we were married, it felt different, good different, after we were married. There was a deeper commitment.
3. It is easy to fall into a rut, get mired down in the every day. It takes a little work and diligence to keep it interesting and continue growing, evolving together.
JJ: One of your posts mentioned working for Teen Voices Magazine. The website states "You are more than just a pretty face" Since I have a girl who is just inching over to the pre-teen side of her life, I love this idea. What else can you tell us about the platform of this magazine and how is the magazine surviving in this "body worship" world?
B&B: Teen Voices is written by and for teen girls. Really, it is girls talking to girls about issues that are relevant to them in a way they can all understand. All articles contain content written by the teen girls working for the magazine and submissions from teen girls around the globe. The most recent issue is the "Girl Stuff" issue and contains, among other things, articles on Manga, teen girls in extreme sports, and surviving sexual assault. Teen Voices tries to get teen girls to think and form their own opinions. Use the minds inside their bodies.
All of the art work is by teen girls and our "cover girls" are the un-airbrushed, beautiful inside and out, teen girls who work at the magazine wearing their own clothes, make up and accessories of their choice.
Advertising in the magazine is minimal and almost always relates to education and being informed. In the most recent 57 page issue there were 6 advertisements.
Teen Voices is surviving in this "'body worship' world" thanks to donors and volunteers and people who subscribe to the magazine. We circulate the magazine, free of charge, to schools in Boston and the surrounding communities. In order to reach teen girls around the world, we are focusing on expanding and revamping the Teen Voices website. Judging by all of the submissions we receive from all over the world, Teen Voices strikes a chord, fills a void. There is no magazine like Teen Voices.
The other part of all of this is that Teen Voices is a mentoring program for teen girls in Boston and the surrounding communities which I talked about in my interview with Tangobaby.
If you, or anyone else reading, would like a copy of the magazine, email me and I will send you a free copy!
JJ: In your profile you list your occupation as student. Are you still? What are you pursuing?
B&B: I am still a student working toward my BA. I am designing my own major in Publishing. This means lots of literature courses, writing courses, and internships relevant to publishing. I have edited a book for a small publisher in addition to my work at Teen Voices Magazine. Having been to two other colleges right out of high school before making the decision to go to work for five years, when I returned to school it was on my own terms. I have about six classes plus a thesis to complete and I am really trying to stick with it and power through. Gosh, it can be difficult sometimes. Sometimes all I wanna do is be a homemaker, become a parent, continue volunteering, and open an Etsy shop. Then I remind my self how many opportunities open up once that piece of paper is in hand and I keep going.
JJ: In your photo "Shedding Light On Many Subjects" the books appear to be mostly of a political nature. Are these your books or Mr B&B's (your hubby)? How do they reflect the owner?
B&B: The books are Mr. B&B's, but I have read 1984 and Utopia. I will read anything, but prefer fiction. When it comes to non-fiction, I tend to read books about places/travel and memoir.
One of my bookcases
A Shelf Up Close
As far as reflecting their owner, Mr. B&B loves history and politics. He keeps up with current events. He reads for the pleasure of learning. In Mr. B&B's own words: "I flip between light and fluffy books, often about sports, and the heavier reading material you see on the shelf. I love David Halberstam and the list of books he has written follow that switch." Case in point: Right now Mr. B&B is reading Slash's memoir.
JJ: I am new to blogging. Through blogging I have seen "twittering". Give me a super short explanation of this, AND how has twittering effected your life for the good-why should one twitter?
B&B:
super short explanation: Say anything you want in 140 characters or less.
good effects/why: Exposure to new people, new ideas, and more traffic to my blog.
More about Twitter: A Comprehensive Guide to Twitter
My Twitter: morningtonight
Thank you for making time to ask me such thoughtful questions, Jules!
If you would like to get in on the fun, these are "The Rules":
1. Leave me a comment saying: "Interview me."
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. (I get to pick the questions.)
3. You will update your blog with the answers and link to my blog in your post.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed you will ask them five questions.
Home Unhealthy = Unhealthy Home
As I said yesterday, I have a cold. Mr. B&B has one, too, and stayed home today.
Evidence Mr. B&B stayed home sick.
#1 Coat, shoes, and hat
#2 Approximately 6 foot 1 inch lump in bed with feline protector
Our home is feeling a bit under the weather, too.
#1 (2 & 3?) Messy counters, dishes in sink, pre-compost container in need of emptying
#2(?) Dry Laundry on Laundry Drying Rack
I am not crazy enough to post pictures of my unshowered, noseblowing, coughing self.
Instead, I'll show you where I've been spending my time.
Hoping you are all well and stay well! I'm on the mend. Evidence? No fever today!
Evidence Mr. B&B stayed home sick.
#1 Coat, shoes, and hat
#2 Approximately 6 foot 1 inch lump in bed with feline protector
Our home is feeling a bit under the weather, too.
#1 (2 & 3?) Messy counters, dishes in sink, pre-compost container in need of emptying
#2(?) Dry Laundry on Laundry Drying Rack
I am not crazy enough to post pictures of my unshowered, noseblowing, coughing self.
Instead, I'll show you where I've been spending my time.
Hoping you are all well and stay well! I'm on the mend. Evidence? No fever today!
Monday, January 19, 2009
Takes Two To Tango
It seems there is a little interview fun sweeping through Blogville. I first learned of it through Julie at Tangobaby. She was interviewed by julochka here. Such fun! I wanted to be a part of it. Tangobaby is a busy interviewer, but anticipating her questions has been half the fun. To those of you visiting from Tangobaby's blog, welcome and thank you!
Without further ado...
Tangobaby: You wrote a beautiful post about living in a very small town, and about looking at the moon, and being with your family together and singing. How did life in a small town prepare you for being an adult? What gifts did you take with you from that experience?
Brainy and Beautiful: I lived in that small town for the first ten and a half years of my life. Maybe I idealize it a little because I think of it as the place where I lived and left my innocence. I guess it did prepare me for adulthood. Since the community was so small, I really got to know the adults and see how they lived. I could write whole posts about Bob, Pat, the Schwartz Family, the Julio's, the family who ran the candy store, the Smith's who owned and operated the farm stand, my bus driver, all my teachers... I don't want to bore you with my listing. I guess what they all had in common was a sense of responsibility to the community at large and a genuine concern and caring for all of the children in the community. That is what I took with me and have put into practice as an adult.
Living there was a gift. Specifically, looking back:
the freedom to roam
a sense of safety
knowing I am o.k. as I am
being seen. Invisibility was an impossibility.
understanding that children are integral to the community and its ability to flourish
knowing nature
an interconnectedness
TB: I know that you are a devoted nanny and love children and helping them grow. What do you think you most want to instill in the children that you take care of? What is the greatest gift you have ever received from a child? I know that your current position is in a transition. Do you see yourself continuing to work with children in some way?
B&B: The thing I most want to instill in the children that I care for is a sense of self. That is the first thing that comes to mind anyway. I believe that everything else I'd like to instill stems from self-awareness.
Greatest gift I have ever received from a child... The children are gifts in and of themselves. All that personality, energy, and unique perspective. I love when they run up to me and give me unsolicited hugs and kisses. Most of all, they help me to keep my inner child and sense of wonder alive which, in my limited experience, is one of the keys to lifelong happiness.
My current position is in transition. I am still wavering about whether to seek a new position. Right now I am leaning towards no. I have so many other pursuits vying for my attention. If I was to nanny again, I would want to be able to give the new family all that I have to give. Currently, with my attentions so divided, that is an impossibility.
For now, I will definitely continue to volunteer with little ones at Perkins School for the Blind one day a week. I can't imagine ever not working with children in some way shape or form.
TB: Tell us more about Teen Voices and your work with them. What is your hope for the girls you work with? What is your impression of how they see the world?
B&B: Teen Voices is indescribable. It is a magazine written by and for teen girls. It is also a mentoring program. Everyone in the non-profit organization is female. You'd think it might get catty, but I've never seen that happen. Teen Voices relies heavily on donations and even more heavily on volunteers. Last session I volunteered as a mentor working with three young women to put together an article about a chronic disease. Other volunteers mentored other groups of two or three girls working on articles devoted to other topics.
The magazine is really written by teen girls all over the world thanks to submissions. However, the teen girls working in the Teen Voices office, writing the articles into which the submissions are incorporated, are all living in and around Boston, Massachusetts. Many of them would be labeled "disadvantaged", "minority", or "at-risk", but I don't do labels. Neither does Teen Voices.
My hope for the girls I work with is that they will recognize their full potential and strive to achieve it and then some.
One of my greatest lessons from last session is that that each individual has their own concept of "normal". Each of us sees the world differently.
There were some commonalities among my mentees: Hope. A desire to learn and grow. Inner strength. Drive to succeed.
Commonalities that I believe we all have as humans. Really, at our core, we are all the same.
If I asked the girls how they see the world I believe each of the answers would be some variation of "as a place I am going to take by storm."
After last session, I was not ready to say good-bye. The Editor and Chief asked me to stay on as an Editorial Assistant working with her to put together the print and online magazine. I started last Thursday and am eager to see the whole process from a different angle.
TB: As a vegan, what is the most important thing about your lifestyle that you'd share with those of us who are not. If someone wanted to become a vegan or a vegetarian, what advice would you offer first?
B&B: First of all, every vegan is different. Reasons for veganism vary from vegan to vegan. There are various shades of veganism. Ask any vegan these questions and you would get different answers from each of them. So, I am only speaking for myself through the lens of my experience.
There are so many things I would love to share with you about being vegan. I don't do well with the whole "pick the most important thing" questions, huh? One thing: It is not as difficult as it first appears. It is not hard to find things to eat and continue to get the nutrients your body needs.
Also, there are so many benefits to being vegan. Health Benefits. Environmental Benefits. Other Benefits. Google "benefits of veganism" and you'll be quite surprised. I was quite impressed with this list on nursingdegree.net.
That brings me to my first piece of advice to anyone considering vegetarianism or veganism. Educate yourself through research (internet, books, magazines), talking to vegans, watching videos about veganism on YouTube, watching movies about veganism (Earthlings, Super Size Me, Fast Food Nation, I am an Animal, What's On Your Plate, Food Matters) talking to health professionals, and any other means you can think of. Then try it for a month or so. At the end of that month, decide if it is right for you.
TB: Tell us a little bit about Mr. B&B... he sounds like a lovely fella. How did you first meet? Does he mind that you write about him?
B&B: Oh, Mr. B&B... He is a lovely fella. Just today he woke me with little pecks on the cheek, cleared my car of snow, put his pj's in the hamper, hung up his towels after his shower, scooped the kitty litter, thanked me for making his lunch, and wished me a wonderful day with a hug as he left for work. The good most definitely outweighs the little annoyances.
Our first meeting is a longish story:
I met him at the craziest time of my life. May 5, 2001. It was the day after I had moved out of my parents house leaving only vague notes in my wake. I was a month and ten days shy of my 20th birthday. I had just decided to take a break from college and work for awhile. My best friend and her family took me in while I settled the unknowns.
A May 5th camping trip had been planned for Tanya's (my best friend) birthday. Tanya, Greg (her boyfriend), Nicole (a friend), Andrew (my very ex-boyfriend), a few of Andrew's friends, Mr. B&B, and I journeyed to the wild's of western Connecticut. There was grocery shopping, tent assembling, card playing, firewood collecting, kick ball playing, fire building, food preparing, story-telling fun. Then it got dark and cold and we went to bed. Greg & Tanya, Nicole, Brad, and I were in one tent. Having just moved, I didn't have a sleeping bag or a pillow. So, I used a blanket Tanya loaned me and hoped for the best. Not effective. I woke up screaming into the darkness and unable to feel my feet. Needless to say, everyone woke up. Many apologies later, I squeezed myself into a tight ball and wrapped the blankets around me more tightly.
Nicole tapped me on the shoulder, "B--- wants me to pass you his sweatshirt." I declined, but B--- wouldn't take no for an answer. Nicole got annoyed with being the go between. Somehow I ended up in B---'s sweatshirt, in my blanket, in his sleeping bag, with his arms around me, whispering until the sky began turning pink. That is how we began.
To answer the second part of the question, does he mind me writing about him, maybe a little. Mr. B&B knew I was a writer that first night in the tent. He actually encouraged me to blog. Sometimes he teases me with, "Uh oh... I better be careful or this will end up on the blog..." If I ever posted something about him that he wasn't comfortable with, he knows that all he has to do is say the word and it will come down. He is infinitely important to me and excluding him from my blog is impossible, but I respect his feelings. I feel kind of weird answering this for him. Maybe I can convince him to guest blog some time soon.
Until then, I leave you with...
Five Fun Facts About Mr. B&B:
He came in second in a statewide chess championship while in high school
He likes to sweep and dust.
While at home, he lives in his slippers.
He sings to the cat, personalizing the lyrics to popular songs to suit her.
He loves cars and has been behind the wheel at New Hampshire Motor Speedway and Circuit Mont-Tremblant.
Thanks for the dance, Julie!
Anyone else want to play?
Here are "The Rules":
1. Leave me a comment saying: "Interview me."
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. (I get to pick the questions.)
3. You will update your blog with the answers and link to my blog in your post.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed you will ask them five questions.
I would love to channel my inner Barbara Walters/Oprah Winfrey <3
Most importantly, I'd love to learn more about all of you. Just say the word!
Without further ado...
Tangobaby: You wrote a beautiful post about living in a very small town, and about looking at the moon, and being with your family together and singing. How did life in a small town prepare you for being an adult? What gifts did you take with you from that experience?
Brainy and Beautiful: I lived in that small town for the first ten and a half years of my life. Maybe I idealize it a little because I think of it as the place where I lived and left my innocence. I guess it did prepare me for adulthood. Since the community was so small, I really got to know the adults and see how they lived. I could write whole posts about Bob, Pat, the Schwartz Family, the Julio's, the family who ran the candy store, the Smith's who owned and operated the farm stand, my bus driver, all my teachers... I don't want to bore you with my listing. I guess what they all had in common was a sense of responsibility to the community at large and a genuine concern and caring for all of the children in the community. That is what I took with me and have put into practice as an adult.
Living there was a gift. Specifically, looking back:
the freedom to roam
a sense of safety
knowing I am o.k. as I am
being seen. Invisibility was an impossibility.
understanding that children are integral to the community and its ability to flourish
knowing nature
an interconnectedness
TB: I know that you are a devoted nanny and love children and helping them grow. What do you think you most want to instill in the children that you take care of? What is the greatest gift you have ever received from a child? I know that your current position is in a transition. Do you see yourself continuing to work with children in some way?
B&B: The thing I most want to instill in the children that I care for is a sense of self. That is the first thing that comes to mind anyway. I believe that everything else I'd like to instill stems from self-awareness.
Greatest gift I have ever received from a child... The children are gifts in and of themselves. All that personality, energy, and unique perspective. I love when they run up to me and give me unsolicited hugs and kisses. Most of all, they help me to keep my inner child and sense of wonder alive which, in my limited experience, is one of the keys to lifelong happiness.
My current position is in transition. I am still wavering about whether to seek a new position. Right now I am leaning towards no. I have so many other pursuits vying for my attention. If I was to nanny again, I would want to be able to give the new family all that I have to give. Currently, with my attentions so divided, that is an impossibility.
For now, I will definitely continue to volunteer with little ones at Perkins School for the Blind one day a week. I can't imagine ever not working with children in some way shape or form.
TB: Tell us more about Teen Voices and your work with them. What is your hope for the girls you work with? What is your impression of how they see the world?
B&B: Teen Voices is indescribable. It is a magazine written by and for teen girls. It is also a mentoring program. Everyone in the non-profit organization is female. You'd think it might get catty, but I've never seen that happen. Teen Voices relies heavily on donations and even more heavily on volunteers. Last session I volunteered as a mentor working with three young women to put together an article about a chronic disease. Other volunteers mentored other groups of two or three girls working on articles devoted to other topics.
The magazine is really written by teen girls all over the world thanks to submissions. However, the teen girls working in the Teen Voices office, writing the articles into which the submissions are incorporated, are all living in and around Boston, Massachusetts. Many of them would be labeled "disadvantaged", "minority", or "at-risk", but I don't do labels. Neither does Teen Voices.
My hope for the girls I work with is that they will recognize their full potential and strive to achieve it and then some.
One of my greatest lessons from last session is that that each individual has their own concept of "normal". Each of us sees the world differently.
There were some commonalities among my mentees: Hope. A desire to learn and grow. Inner strength. Drive to succeed.
Commonalities that I believe we all have as humans. Really, at our core, we are all the same.
If I asked the girls how they see the world I believe each of the answers would be some variation of "as a place I am going to take by storm."
After last session, I was not ready to say good-bye. The Editor and Chief asked me to stay on as an Editorial Assistant working with her to put together the print and online magazine. I started last Thursday and am eager to see the whole process from a different angle.
TB: As a vegan, what is the most important thing about your lifestyle that you'd share with those of us who are not. If someone wanted to become a vegan or a vegetarian, what advice would you offer first?
B&B: First of all, every vegan is different. Reasons for veganism vary from vegan to vegan. There are various shades of veganism. Ask any vegan these questions and you would get different answers from each of them. So, I am only speaking for myself through the lens of my experience.
There are so many things I would love to share with you about being vegan. I don't do well with the whole "pick the most important thing" questions, huh? One thing: It is not as difficult as it first appears. It is not hard to find things to eat and continue to get the nutrients your body needs.
Also, there are so many benefits to being vegan. Health Benefits. Environmental Benefits. Other Benefits. Google "benefits of veganism" and you'll be quite surprised. I was quite impressed with this list on nursingdegree.net.
That brings me to my first piece of advice to anyone considering vegetarianism or veganism. Educate yourself through research (internet, books, magazines), talking to vegans, watching videos about veganism on YouTube, watching movies about veganism (Earthlings, Super Size Me, Fast Food Nation, I am an Animal, What's On Your Plate, Food Matters) talking to health professionals, and any other means you can think of. Then try it for a month or so. At the end of that month, decide if it is right for you.
TB: Tell us a little bit about Mr. B&B... he sounds like a lovely fella. How did you first meet? Does he mind that you write about him?
B&B: Oh, Mr. B&B... He is a lovely fella. Just today he woke me with little pecks on the cheek, cleared my car of snow, put his pj's in the hamper, hung up his towels after his shower, scooped the kitty litter, thanked me for making his lunch, and wished me a wonderful day with a hug as he left for work. The good most definitely outweighs the little annoyances.
Our first meeting is a longish story:
I met him at the craziest time of my life. May 5, 2001. It was the day after I had moved out of my parents house leaving only vague notes in my wake. I was a month and ten days shy of my 20th birthday. I had just decided to take a break from college and work for awhile. My best friend and her family took me in while I settled the unknowns.
A May 5th camping trip had been planned for Tanya's (my best friend) birthday. Tanya, Greg (her boyfriend), Nicole (a friend), Andrew (my very ex-boyfriend), a few of Andrew's friends, Mr. B&B, and I journeyed to the wild's of western Connecticut. There was grocery shopping, tent assembling, card playing, firewood collecting, kick ball playing, fire building, food preparing, story-telling fun. Then it got dark and cold and we went to bed. Greg & Tanya, Nicole, Brad, and I were in one tent. Having just moved, I didn't have a sleeping bag or a pillow. So, I used a blanket Tanya loaned me and hoped for the best. Not effective. I woke up screaming into the darkness and unable to feel my feet. Needless to say, everyone woke up. Many apologies later, I squeezed myself into a tight ball and wrapped the blankets around me more tightly.
Nicole tapped me on the shoulder, "B--- wants me to pass you his sweatshirt." I declined, but B--- wouldn't take no for an answer. Nicole got annoyed with being the go between. Somehow I ended up in B---'s sweatshirt, in my blanket, in his sleeping bag, with his arms around me, whispering until the sky began turning pink. That is how we began.
To answer the second part of the question, does he mind me writing about him, maybe a little. Mr. B&B knew I was a writer that first night in the tent. He actually encouraged me to blog. Sometimes he teases me with, "Uh oh... I better be careful or this will end up on the blog..." If I ever posted something about him that he wasn't comfortable with, he knows that all he has to do is say the word and it will come down. He is infinitely important to me and excluding him from my blog is impossible, but I respect his feelings. I feel kind of weird answering this for him. Maybe I can convince him to guest blog some time soon.
Until then, I leave you with...
Five Fun Facts About Mr. B&B:
He came in second in a statewide chess championship while in high school
He likes to sweep and dust.
While at home, he lives in his slippers.
He sings to the cat, personalizing the lyrics to popular songs to suit her.
He loves cars and has been behind the wheel at New Hampshire Motor Speedway and Circuit Mont-Tremblant.
Thanks for the dance, Julie!
Anyone else want to play?
Here are "The Rules":
1. Leave me a comment saying: "Interview me."
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. (I get to pick the questions.)
3. You will update your blog with the answers and link to my blog in your post.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed you will ask them five questions.
I would love to channel my inner Barbara Walters/Oprah Winfrey <3
Most importantly, I'd love to learn more about all of you. Just say the word!
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