Elder Relations

My Grandma had her birthday yesterday. I was at the library doing school work all day. By the time I got home and settled it was after 9:00 P.M. That was not the time to call Grandma who was certainly asleep by then.

Before entering the library today, I called Gram. We had a long conversation about her birthday, various family members, school, and how we think about each other often, but rarely get to see each other or even just talk on the phone.

I remember my mother talking to her grandma every Saturday night after 4:30 Mass. My mother always said she wished she had started doing that a long time ago. They would chat for 30 minutes or so and catch up on recent happenings before saying "Talk to you next week!" To have that connection is so important, I think. I know it benefited my mother and my great-grandmother.

Yesterday I wrote about aging and included a bit about our youth obsessed society. Not only is there an obsession with looking young, there is also a tendency to ignore the elderly. We hide them away in nursing homes or a "55+ community" (Note: I do NOT consider 55 elderly) and visit them only if we are related to them and even then only sometimes and sometimes not at all.

Then there is the fact that people are living longer, fuller, healthier lives. Magazine covers pronounce "50 is the new 40!" We also have major medical advances happening all the time which prolong life. You can receive retirement benefits at 65, but often people keep working partly because they want to, partly because they have to, partly because they have so many years ahead, at least 20 or 25 and often 30 or more!

My mom is a few months away from 56 and my father is a few months into 66. They both work, walk the dog, go out to dinner, and are involved in civic organizations. They are very much a part of society. My father's grandparents didn't live to be much older than he is now. My father's father passed away last summer. My father's mother, at the age of 86, is suffering with Alzheimer's, but still alive and responsive in her own way. My mother's grandparents lived into their 70's and 80's. My mother's father is 80, and her mother 76 and they show no signs of slowing down. History coupled with medical advances indicates that my parent's will be around a very long time.

So, why are we as a society not paying more attention to or showing more respect for the older generation?

Gram and I will be talking again this time next week. Maybe I'll ask her.

Finding My Place

Things have changed since I started my Editorial Internship at Teen Voices in January. The other editorial interns I was originally working with are no longer interning. I am now the veteran. I have trained my fellow interns, Jaime and Lizzy. We all work really well collaboratively and play off each others strengths. As they have become more comfortable and come into their own, I no longer feel "the veteran" and I find myself trying to figure out my place.

I guess we are always adjusting. Our roles vary depending on the day, depending on the assignments we are given.

We are all very strong personalities. We laugh a lot and seek advice from each other and get along well. I sometimes feel lost in the mix though. Maybe it is because they are closer in age and having similar experiences where I am nearly six years older than Jaime and even further away in age from Lizzy. Six years may not sound like a lot, but think back to all of that growing and changing you did in your twenties. Six years is an eternity.

Often I wonder if I am doing enough, if I am keeping up. The editor of the magazine tells us all we are "rockstars!" So, she has no complaints which means I have no reason to be wondering or worrying. I just can't help myself.

I move forward doing what I am asked to do and more. I keep up with email, schedule interviews with artists and activists, fact check, keep sending out materials (books and cd's) for our teen reviewers to review, collaborate with my fellow interns on larger projects, process submissions, put together articles, and smile. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy every minute! Making that list, I guess I am doing enough.

Why do I feel a little lost? Maybe it is because my role is undefined. I am used to having a set standard, set responsibilities, set guidelines for achievement. As an intern, that is not the case. Our roles are shifting, moving, changing every day. I would bet that this is the case because the editor wants each of us to have a go at every task, a well-rounded experience. I respect and admire that and am grateful for every experience. It also helps me and Lizzy and Jaime to work well collaboratively because no one is "the star", collectively we are Becca's "rockstars".

Where do I belong? I'm thinking...right where I am.