On Saturday night my husband and I went to a birthday party for our friend Bijaya thrown by her husband, Tim. It was a blast! They invited over eighty people and so many of them came. Tim and Bijaya have such a cross-section of friends that it baffles and bemuses me. It also makes for an amazing time when you have such a variety of people in such a large number all congregated in one cozy house. I said hello and thank you and good-bye to Tim and Bijaya. I talked to Tim's sister, Liz. I talked to Chris and Mike, two of the sweetest guys in the world who happen to make-up one of the most dynamic couples I know and have a great taste for restaurants that they gladly introduce my husband and I to. I spent a lot of time talking with my best friend, Tanya, about food, her teaching job and the challenges and joys it presents, men, therapy, writing, my newly acquired internship position and just life in general. After Tanya left, I capped the night off with intensely deep conversation with my new friend, Ben. He is captivating. We talked about sleep, wanderlust, boats, sailing, introspection, artificial intelligence, math, language, poetry and our shared disdain of products made in China. Ben suggested books he thought I might like to read and we exchanged emails. This went on until my husband wandered over to retrieve me and take me home.
After the party I could not sleep because Ben had my head all busy and working and jazzed up about so many things and so many new-to-me ideas. While driving home from the party, I was talking with my husband about my conversation with Ben. My husband's slightly wounded reply was, "You know, I can talk about math with you, too, you know." To which I replied, "I do." But isn't there something invigorating about meeting someone and instantly connecting on so many levels and finding they are interested in who you are and what your thoughts are as well? Clearly, I love my husband and he and I share our lives, good conversation, and a comfy bed, but sometimes, on occasion, for short spurts of time, no matter the amount of effort and love couples put into their relationships, we get mired down in every day life like paying bills, washing dishes, working late and our conversations degrade to short sentences and our affections turn into a peck on the lips before we pass out, exhausted. That is why we need other people in our lives. I believe that our needs as humans include new friends who understand, stimulate, and challenge us in ways we have not been before. How else will we grow and stretch? So, husband, if you visit my blog and happen to read this, while I love you and cherish our time together and the conversations we have about math and other things, I think we both recognize that we need friends to enrich our lives as well so that when we do converse our discussions are broader and spicier and more invigorating. There is room in my life for you and Ben and so many other dear friends, but at the end of the day, you are the one who has my heart.
Thanks for a great time, Tim and Bijaya, and for sharing your friends and family with me!