Friday, September 12, 2008

A Reassuring Whisper

Not too long ago I was questioning whether or not I was taking my life in the right direction:

August 21, 2008 - Applying for internships is different than applying for jobs. The resume and cover letter content are different. What potential employers are looking for seems much more mysterious to me. I wonder if my being an adult student helps or hinders my chances of procuring an internship position, if my experience in the workforce and in life helps or hinders my chances, if the tone of my cover letter is too serious, if not being able to get an internship so far means I won't be able to get a job when I finish my degree, and, finally, if the fact that I have not heard back from anyone means that I have taken my life in the wrong direction. That is a lot of ifs. So, I keep searching, keep applying, and wait.

See full post here.

In the busyness of this my first week of school, I had not checked my special "internship email account" in three days. Last night I did and it turns out that, though their Editorial Assistant Positions have been filled, Teen Voices Magazine would like to interview me for an Editorial Mentor Position. I am resisting exclamation points because I have not yet interviewed and the position is not yet mine, but I find this extremely encouraging. If nothing else, it is a reassuring whisper that I am on the right path and walking in the right direction.

In the spirit of reassuring whispers, I give you 10 O'Clock, a recent account of me seeking to reassure myself:

10 O'Clock
I am not a child
I am not a child
I am not a child
Lately it seems I am oft heard loudly repeating this phrase
Later I say to myself, "Who are you trying to convince?"

Tonight at 10 O'Clock I step off the bus
and decide to prove it to myself
Turning off my cellphone and tucking it inside my purse
inside my book bag I begin

Step by Step by Step, One by One by One
I walk the five blocks home
in the dark

Block by Block by Block, One by One by One
I repeat
I am not a child
a child
a child
a child
a child I am not

Turning the corner
Ascending the three steps to my porch
Slipping the key in the lock
Opening the door to confirmation
of the affirmation
I am not a child.

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